Archive for the ‘Characters’ Category
One from the vaults…
Posted by characters | Filed under Characters
Oh hello there! It’s the Laugh Force Alpha Historian here, speaking to you live from a secret vault 13 miles below the moon’s surface. My mom lives here with me. It’s my job to archive the thousands of lost LFA classics and then bring YOU the cream of the crap. It’s a decent life. My mom’s baking a broccoli cheese casserole. I like it! Here’s something else I like, it’s a dusty old CD-R containing an episode of Random Protesting Hippie. I found it holding up the short leg of an old ping pong table. Enjoy! …MOM! Did you put mushrooms in the casserole? Cause if you did, I hope you enjoy explosive decompression!
Random Protesting Hippie: The Carmel Corn Holocaust
Tags: Carmel Corn, Random Protesting Hippie, Some Old Bullsh*t
Terror… With a New Twist
Posted by Unibrowed Oilchild | Filed under Characters
Every once in a while comes a horror film that redefines the genre, and is so scary that movie theaters give away a free pair of adult diapers with every movie ticket. This is one of those films. Made on a shoestring budget of $15,ooo, this terrifying tale has the prolific staying power to even surpass the Saw series. Check out the trailer for the new twist on terror… TITTY TWISTER!
Tags: horror, paranormal activity, saw, titty, twister
Life with Limbaugh
Posted by Unibrowed Oilchild | Filed under Characters
Ever wonder why Rush Limbaugh is so ornery and confrontational? We think we’ve found the reason: He’s fifty-eight years old and lives at home with his enfeebled mother. Check out this unaired clip from his radio show that we found while digging through the digital dumpsters behind his house.
Tags: bloated sea cow, Life with Limbaugh, Limbaugh, radio, Rush, unaired
Episode 2 Deleted Scene: Frank and Malthor’s Rip-Off Rap Cabaret
Posted by Unibrowed Oilchild | Filed under Characters
After listening to Episode 37: Act Two of Frank Jones: Super Villain in Training, were you craving more lyrical jibba-jabba from Frank and Malthor? If so, you are in luck. Frank and Malthor’s Rap Rip-Off Cabaret extends beyond what was in the episode and includes a greater smattering of unabashed 1990s era rap/hip-hop plagiarism. We had to cut this from the “official” episode because we simply can’t afford lawsuits from more than one washed-up rapper at a time.
Frank Jones and Malthor Rap Rip-Off Cabaret
Tags: cabaret, deleted, frank jones, malthor, rap
A Message from the Henchman Malthor
Posted by characters | Filed under Characters
From the Desk Re-purposed Milk Crate of Malthor:
Hello everyone. Malthor here, and today I need to talk to you about something very important: Twitter. Now first, let me say that Twitter is in fact one of the least important things in this world. I might also say that Twitter is on of the most mind destroyingly stupid inventions ever birthed by man in the whole of human history. However, my discount therapist says I need an outlet to vent the frustrations I have over my roommate/villainous employer. As she was squatting to pick up a fresh dollar bill off the stage with neither her hands nor feet, she suggested that I use Twitter as a way to express myself. She says I keep too much inside and that I should be an exhibitionist… or was it an extravert? Anyway, as per her suggestion, I will be posting my deepest and darkest thoughts and feelings on my Twitter page for all to see. If you have a question or comment, let it fly. I may respond, or I mayn’t. I hope that this will assist me well in the bettering of my mental health. With your help, and the help of Twitter, I may one day be able to get a lap dance without crying hysterically.
Endlessly an Indentured Servant to Frank Jones,
Malthor the Indignant
http://twitter.com/HenchmanMalthor
Tags: frank jones, Lap dance, malthor, Twitter