Archive for the ‘Characters’ Category
A Vault full of Cocaine
Posted by characters | Filed under Characters
Oh hi there! It’s me, your LFA Historian. I’m just sitting here, stoking the fire, and trying to stay warm. Sent my mom outside to scrounge up some firewood, but I didn’t bother to tell her that there ARE no trees on the moon. I’m sure she’ll figure that out soon enough. That or die of exposure, whichever comes first. Me on the other hand, I’ll be just fine. I got plenty of things to burn right here, like these old Laugh Force Alpha records and tape reels. I know, I know, aren’t I destroying rare classic comedy? Not at all. Most of this stuff is total crap. But ya got to do what ya got to do to survive a winter on the moon.
What’s that? You didn’t know there was winter on the moon? Well sure, it’s always winter on the dark side of the moon. No snow, but it’s always a couple thousand degrees below zero. It makes skinny dipping a bit difficult, but I like it. Also, what’s up with all the damn prisms?
Anywho, it’s starting to get a little nippy in here, so I think I’ll just burn this one by my foot and… HEY! It’s a Cocaine Pushing Scotsman episode from the early 2000’s! Well, I guess I better post this one… and then I’ll burn it.
Cocaine Pushing Scotsman Pizza Emporium
(Banging on vault door)
Eh, I’m pretty cozy right here. I’ll let her in at sunrise.
Tags: Classics, Cocaine, LFA Historian, Vault
A Collection Call to Darth Vader
Posted by Unibrowed Oilchild | Filed under Characters
Economic turmoil is not unique to these times, or this galaxy for that matter. Recessions were present a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, and even the Dark Lord of the Sith was not immune to their effects.
A Collection Call to Darth Vader
Tags: collection, darth vader, recession, stimulus
He is risen… FROM THE GRAAAAVE!!!
Posted by characters | Filed under Characters
Oh, hello there. I’m Malthor, henchman to the stars. Frank Jones is making me post this picture he made in celebration of his favorite holiday of the year: Zombie Jesus Day. It was supposedly on this day a couple thousand years ago that our lord and savior rose from the grave to feast on the brains of the non-believers. Now every year, Frank makes us dress up like zombies to roam through Jewish neighborhoods and go knocking door to door demanding potato pancakes as retribution. Mostly, all we ever get is shot at. I hate Zombie Jesus Day almost as much as I hate Shank the Irish Day.
Looking awful in green skin paint,
Malthor the Indignant
Tags: frank jones, Irish, Jesus, malthor, Potato pancakes, zombie
One from the vaults…
Posted by characters | Filed under Characters
Oh hello there! It’s the Laugh Force Alpha Historian here, speaking to you live from a secret vault 13 miles below the moon’s surface. My mom lives here with me. It’s my job to archive the thousands of lost LFA classics and then bring YOU the cream of the crap. It’s a decent life. My mom’s baking a broccoli cheese casserole. I like it! Here’s something else I like, it’s a dusty old CD-R containing an episode of Random Protesting Hippie. I found it holding up the short leg of an old ping pong table. Enjoy! …MOM! Did you put mushrooms in the casserole? Cause if you did, I hope you enjoy explosive decompression!
Random Protesting Hippie: The Carmel Corn Holocaust
Tags: Carmel Corn, Random Protesting Hippie, Some Old Bullsh*t
Terror… With a New Twist
Posted by Unibrowed Oilchild | Filed under Characters
Every once in a while comes a horror film that redefines the genre, and is so scary that movie theaters give away a free pair of adult diapers with every movie ticket. This is one of those films. Made on a shoestring budget of $15,ooo, this terrifying tale has the prolific staying power to even surpass the Saw series. Check out the trailer for the new twist on terror… TITTY TWISTER!
Tags: horror, paranormal activity, saw, titty, twister