Posts Tagged ‘grumpy shit’
Who Can’t Wait for Saturday at 6PM? Me!
Posted by characters | Filed under Characters
Good news everyone! The world’s ending tomorrow at 6PM! That one guy said so, and he hasn’t been wrong in over 15 years. I haven’t been this excited since I punched out Buzz Aldrin in ‘88!
I’m especially looking forward to the big earthquake! It may finally shake loose that wad of sunflower seeds and fatback that got lodged in my lower intestine back when Nixon resigned. While you idiots are panicking and praying to your spaghetti gods, I’ll be laughing behind the wheel of my rascal while I flatten your pets! I don’t care how floppy and cute their ears are! Those little shits should know better than to dig in my onion garden!
Twitter.com/thegrumpyshit
Tags: buzz aldrin, earthquake, end of the world, grumpy shit, nixon
Flannel Died With Kurt Cobain, You Thrift Store Bastards!
Posted by characters | Filed under Characters
Tags: flannel, grumpy shit, hipster
Hi! Now, Shut Up!
Posted by characters | Filed under Characters
Respect your elders! You know who doesn’t? Those Laugh Force Alpha jerks! They tricked me into harvesting 50 gallons of highlighter ink, only to throw me a lemon party afterward, so I sued their pants off! Except they liked not wearing pants… so I sued them again! Now they have to let me type whatever I feel like on their stupid website! But right now I feel like that triple-stuffed burrito is forcing its way through me… I’ll be back soon, though, and you better be ready to listen!
Twitter.com/thegrumpyshit
Tags: Characters, grumpy shit, lemon party